Deus Ex Invisible War Parody
by Caracaos
Summary: Follow the adventures of Alex D, part idiot, part superstar, as he lives out the most interesting few days of his life! T for swearing, violence soon!, and sexual themes. R&R please, and feel free to criticize.
1. End Of Chicago

The scene is the rooftop helipad of a very tall building (Not a Skyscraper), obviously built by some very aesthetically challenged architects. One may notice that the surrounding structures are of a similar design, Disgustingly industrial and naked as to show their purposes. Despite it being 5:15 AM, however, the streets and avenues of the city were choked with automobiles and pedestrians with no actual purpose except to mill around aimlessly and look like so many sheep to the slaughter.

The city is, quite obviously, an important commerce hub, or something similarly important, for what other reason is there for absolutely every light in every building to be on at this ungodly hour ?

A large, apparently aerodynamically retarded helicopter, quickly descends to the aforementioned rooftop. There appear to be a number of relatively unfit men dressed in laboratory coats and shaved bald waiting for the next aircraft to land. These men managed to board the aircraft with some difficulty, notwithstanding the fact that it had already landed, and settled down within it's confines, panting heavily.

'Alright, is everybody strapped in ? Well, it's time I lift this weasel off! Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Coburt Fresno, I will be your pilot flying non-stop from Chicago City to Seattle. Please follow the lovely stewardess' instructions on how to buckle your seatbelts and operate your lifejackets.', spoke the pilot up front, gesturing to his copilot as if regarding him as the stewardess.

'Shut up, you jackass, firstly, you're not back in Delta-', retorted the copilot.

'Oh.', responded the pilot.

'And secondly, stewardess ? If you're this incredibly stupid, I don't see how we're going to survive this flight. We're lucky those guys back there can't hear us arguing, otherwise they'd be praying to God that your incompetence doesn't end up in this fat piece of junk crashing into the ground.

'Copilot ? I didn't turn the intercom off.'

'…Shit.'

With that, the copilot turned back and gave a wide smile towards the occupants of the cramped and uncomfortable cabin, who were all staring wide-eyed and frightfully at the front of the helicopter. Some were muttering prayers.

'Well, there doesn't seem to be any delay here, so I should just take off.'

A voice from the outside penetrated the noisy confines of the helicopter – a very strong voice, apparently, to be heard over the helicopter blades.

'Wait! Wait! I just had to clear out the infusion lab! I have important materials right here with me!'

The pilot, glancing at his rear view mirror, acknowledged the presence of this latecomer and began to take off.

'Sorry, doctor, but we're getting delayed and we can't spare a moment to pick you up.'

'What ! I'm 5 yards off! Just let me get on!'

'We thank you for booking a seat on this flight and are terribly sorry for your inability to make it-'

But at that moment, the scientist, in a move that surprised all of the present company, took a leap of faith off the rooftop. Through the air, he soared towards the helicopter, ready to grasp the sidebars on the door and pull himself in.

'Well, I guess we need to be closing the doors then, huh copilot ?'

'I have a name, asshole, it's Trent. And we need to get that guy off the roof, looks like he's carrying some important shit… a bottle of blue wavy stuff, looks like it.'

'Blue wavy stuff.'

'Uh huh.'

With that, the pilot initiated the helicopter door close sequence, and was rewarded for this action a few seconds later with a loud thud against the door.

The helicopter lifted off the rooftop, and remained hovering thirty feet in the air while the late scientist lay sprawled over the rooftop, blood pouring from his nose, mouth, and former cheek. The contents of the container he was carrying had spilled over, causing the scientist's coat to glow an evening purple.

Meanwhile, within the helicopter…

'We're too heavy. Someone's got to go. Who'll it be ?', asked the pilot.

'The infusion lab ?', asked the tan woman. This was Leila Nassif – intelligent, attractive, and determined, she was a force to be reckoned with in the scientific community. She was currently staring out the window, or so it would seem to the casual observer, but she was actually in deep contemplation regarding the current situation she was in.

'Doctor Nassif, I really think we should get out. We're like, 20 floors beneath the helipa-'

'THE INFUSION LAB, Stan.'

'Uhh, right. Evacuated.' Stanley Terrence was Leila's second-in-command, a position that was a mixed blessing, depending on your perspective.

At the moment, he was looking over a set of fast-paced, colored monitors indicated the statuses of several aerostat bots located around the city. Not surprisingly, since the information displayed was completely incomprehensibly by any man's standards, he reverted to his original thoughts.

'Hmm… I really should comb that hair over to one side… but the middle parting makes it look distinguished… I know how the ladies love that… And that goatee… Well, Stan, not looking too bad.', mumbled Stanley to himself.

'And the _trainees, _Stan ?', asked Leila through gritted teeth. This half-assed ignoramus was beginning to prove a burden on her. And they had to give her a man, at that. No man could do a job the way a woman could, thought Leila to herself.

'Yes, I-I managed to give them the word myself.', stuttered a nervous Stan.

'What did you tell them ?', asked Nassif. Her patience was wearing thin.

'I told them to run. Run like hell.'

'Good, that's all they need to kno-'

'Told them to run because there was a likelihood of a terrorist incident occurring right in front of the Academy. I offered up my own speculation as to who would try to destroy us anyways, but they wouldn't listen. Personally, I blame the United States Government.'

Leila stared unbelievingly at Stan. _What a goddamn idiot, _she thought. She shook her head to clear her thoughts.

'And the aerostat perimeter ? has it been secured ?'

'See for yourself.'

'I'd rather appreciate it if you told me yourself, _Stanley_.', snarled an angry Dr. Nassif.

'To be honest with you, I haven't been paying any attention to these screens. You, on the other hand,' and at that, Stanley looked over his stark white jacket at Leila, a glint in his eye, 'I've been paying quite some attention to you.'

Leila rolled her eyes upwards. A womanizer, at that ? She didn't swing that way.

'WELL, would you think we're the target ?', asked Dr. Nassif in her loudest voice.

'Leila, aren't you going to say anything abou-'

'It would be an academic distinction if the terrorist really did have a nanite detonator, don't you think ?', she continued heartily.

Stan turned around – enough was enough. He was going to tell Leila.

'Leila, I think we shou-'

'Oh my, look, the detonator's gone off!'

Marcus Mervolo was having a terrible day, or more aptly, early morning. Being woken up at 2 AM was not his cup of tea, and now he had to dress up in these constricting yet stylish clothes of his and thumb a little device in the middle of some street or the other… He was very vague on the details. First, being shaken awake, then conducted to some ceremony where women cried and a man threw water across his head, and now he had to do some pointless task in at an hour where people shouldn't be awake, but were.

He was currently standing in an alley facing a T-junction, and was swaying lightly from right to left, and back again, in an almost rhythmic fashion that displayed the drowsiness of this man for all to see. From his perspective, he could make out a rich and vibrant intersection up ahead. _Vulgar, _he thought, _Why would anyone be up at this time of day ?_

The intersection was bustling with activity. Many flashy sports cars and other assorted luxury vehicles went speeding by, apparently oblivious to the traffic lights, and surrounding businesses, particularly an establishment named the 'Papyrus Hotel' were experiencing a massive influx of clients. The early morning haze of dawn combined with the streetlights to commit, in Marcus's estimation, a rape of the eyes at this time of day.

Marcus saw an aerostat bot pass him as we looked out from the alley. He was told to avoid those. After counting away several seconds, in which he flicked open the small device handed to him in the ceremony earlier in the morning, and put it back in. It, too, emit a harsh light that was a rape of one's vision. He walked out into the pavement. At that very moment, he was beset by a passing group of young men who, after seeing his fashionable apparel, decided to accost the lone man to see where he bought his clothes.

'Bro, where'd you get those clothes man ?'

'Dude, he looks bitchin' in that robe, I have to get me one of those.'

'Come on man, where'd you get 'em ?'

Marcus shook his head and walked out into the intersection. He was immediately greeted by the site of several cars at the intersection honking at him, with the occupants hollering at him to get off the road in very colorful terms. _Whatever, _he thought, _I get to go back to bed after this is over._ With that, Marcus took out his little device with his right arm, and raised it above him in a statuesque posture. Then, surrounded by the group of kids asking about his clothes and the newly withdrawn device, and to a lesser extent assaulted by the vulgar speech of those in their cars, he thumbed the device.

_Finally, sleep time, _he thought. _Strange, I can't feel my arm… Oh fuckberries. _

A viscous, metallic substance of some sort emanated from the device, rapidly enveloping Marcus, the young men, the cars on the roads, and the surrounding buildings, replicating.

'Stan, STOP IT, now!', replied Leila Nassif. She was propped up on a computer console, trying to ward off Stanley who was now on his knees, serenading her. She had a chair in her hands to try and beat him away.

'Leila, I-'

'Stan, look out the window.'

Stan took a peek out the window, and shrieked.

'Time to get out of here, Stan.'

Both Stanley and Leila quickly departed the security office and ran as fast as they could to the elevator, the viscous swell rapidly approaching.

'You know, we'd never manage to reach the roof in time, Leila, because the nanite swell would consume the elevator counterweight and leave us trapped in the elevator shaft.'

'Less talking, more running Stan!'

'I really think we should use the stairs.'

'We have 20 storeys to go!'

'It's a safety issue.'

With that, Stanley grasped Doctor Nassif's arm and led her off to the fire escape as an elevator conveniently landed on the floor they were on.

Billie Adams was walking to the rooftop of the Academy – but it was more like running to the average human. She was nano-augmented, as could be seen by the bright glare from here eyes. Her thoughts were occupied by the strange encounter she had just recently with the Project Director, Stanley Terrence.

_'You know, Billie, if you pushed the right buttons, met the right people, you'd be in for a good run with Tarsus.' Spoke a somewhat preoccupied Stanley, as he straightened the pillows on Billie's bed._

_'Director, I don't know wh-', replied a confused Billie._

_'Shhhh, now, be quiet, let the old man speak.'_

_With that, Billie quieted down, and, as per his orders, let the old man speak._

_'You have a future with us, Billie, a very good future, but there's room for improvement. Always room for improvement.', added Stan coyly, running his hand through his hair and immediately pulling it away, conscious of the hairdo he just ruined._

_'Director, if you want me to sl-'_

_'Now now, Billie, nothing you don't want to do, of course. Just think about the opportunities. Imagine me as that strapping young fellow, Alex D is his name ? yes…'_

Billie shuddered at the thought of that despicable little man trying to seduce her. As well as that, she couldn't think of Alex as anything other than a platonic friend, and that doubled her disgust.

Soon, she reached the rooftop, to find an incapacitated, bloody scientist with the remains of an infusion canister lying on him, and a helicopter hovering above, dropping random objects upon this poor soul. Billie effortlessly jumped up, landing flawlessly in the carriage of the helicopter, where, she found an assortment of scientists, along with Dr. Nassif and Stanley. _Oh dear God, _she thought.

_'Two girls at once ? today's your lucky day, Stan'_ , Stanley thought to himself, unconsciously licking his lips as he thought of the possibilities. Dr. Nassif edged away from him, and Billie just stood in the helicopter entry way, looking disgusted.

'Well, it looks like we have another passenger,' spoke the pilot, 'time to take off.'

'WAIT!', came a voice from the helipad, 'I'm still alive! If you just landed, I could make it onboar-'

'No one to pick up, that's for sure. Hey, next stop, Seattle, everybody.'

From her new seat, Leila looked to Billie.

'Billie, what of the other trainees ?'

'I didn't see them, Dr. Nassif. I think they're all dead – well, I believe Alex managed to get onto a helicopter an hour ago. He loves being punctual.'

As the helicopter took off, the last remains of this terribly constructed building were consumed by the nanite swarm, and crumbled into it's depths.

_4:30 PM, Tarsus Academy, Seattle_

'_Jesus, did they destroy the entire city to get at us ?'_

_'Looks like it, Leila.'_

_'Shush, I wasn't talking to you Stan. Now, pilot-'_

_'I believe, LEILA, these were my lines. Anyways… Ah, yes. I guess they did destroy the entire city to get at us.'_

_Leila looked disapprovingly at Stan. 'You can't be trusted with reading lines, anyways.'_

_'Back to the bigger picture, Leila ?'_

_'Ah, yes. We aren't equipped to fight a war.'_

_'We're going to change the terms of engage- is something wrong with my voice ? It sounds really throaty. Um, right.' Leila was giving Stan a dangerous look. 'We're going to change the terms of engagement. It's our war, not theirs. We don't need cities or armies – we have the cells of human bodies. An invisible weapon… for an invisible war.'_

_'First time I heard you say something interesting, Stan.'_

_'Do you like it ? I certainly do.'_

_'You certainly aren't quick enough to come up with that.'_

_'Shut up.'_


	2. The Tarsus Apartments

It has been quite some time since I've updated this, and I apologize, I've had quite a number of AP exams and school exams to cope with. I'll attempt to update frequently, but in the meantime, I leave you with chapter two of the not quite critically acclaimed: Invisible War parody! (Note: I do not own Deus Ex: Invisible War or any of it's proprietary (is that the right word?) content).

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Alex D stood by the window of his new home, staring blankly at the Upper Seattle skyline. It would have been pretty, if not for the massive, industrial-sized turbines on the slate gray roof which he knew was completely unnecessary, or for the fact that his window was completely running agentproof, the massive blotch of bluish purple over his right arm as a testament to this newly-discovered fact.

Aside from the pain, Alex had no idea of knowing what he'd just done to his arm - the Special Ops armor was a pain in the ass to remove, and a grimace came to Alex's face when he remembered the last time he was allowed the luxury of a shower...

Alex was then momentarily distracted by a pigeon landing on the roof outside his window. He gasped as only a schoolboy would, pressing his nose against the window with such speed as to earn him a broken nose, but he ignored the pain, squealing with glee at this sight. Soon enough, the bird took off, an unwitting actor to a witless audience, who tearfully murmured the words 'goodbye little one' before returning to his surroundings.

Alex immediately checked the satchel he had strapped to his left hip, to see if everything he brough from Chicago was secure. The articles he carried were those which he prized the most, from his extensive range of self-care travel cosmetics to the limited edition NG Resonance figurine. Satisfied he had everything he could possibly need for his stay in Seattle, he unstrapped the satchel and placed it in the footlocker to his left. Upon opening it, he noticed a datapad and a basketball. He read the datapad - it contained a note from a Leila Nassif. He could swear he'd heard the name, but he couldn't remember from. The datapad had an image attachment, that of a map of the apartment level he was on, he briefly examined it, and happily realized that he had the biggest apartment of the other three.

Alex looked up from the contents of the footlocker and immediately banged his head on the bottom of an overhanging shelf. Cursing to himself, he looked above the aforementioned shelf and opened his mouth in pleasant surprise.

"...A trophy? OH MY GOD! This is awesome!", he screamed, examining the inscription at the base of the trophy. He read it out loud, "The following trophy is awarded to ... for services rendered to the party of ." Briefly wondering whether that was how his name was spelt in another language, he decided in the positive and pocketed the other item on the shelf, a pair of binoculars. He could see himself using this many times.

Alex picked up the basketball and decided to put in a little practice before he went out. Backing u past his bed, he took up position between his workdesk and the door and started throwing the ball in an underarm fashion towards the window. Suffice to say that he was often picked last when playing basketball.

"Ahem," said a voice to Alex's right.

"What the..", Alex turned to the right, and was rewarded with a swift hit in genitals from the ball which hhad just thrown in a quite powerful fashion. 'Son of a... Jesus..'

"You must be Alex D," asked a woman Alex could have sworn he recognized, though not in his current state.

She spoke with false cheerfulness, but Alex was none the wiser.

"Who.. who might you be?", asked a tense looking Alex.

"Leila Nassif.. I'm the current.. Um, well, I will be in charge of coordinating your stay at this facility. You were just transferred here from Chicago."

"Chicago?", responded Alex. "I've never heard the name bef--- oh, wait, yes, yes I have.. she was the one with the-", and at that, Alex made a lewd motion with his body, grinning from ear to ear.

Dr. Nassif stared blankly at Alex while he continued the motion. This is going to be impossible, she thought to herself.

"Chicago? The city you were JUST IN?" she stated in a frustrated tone.

"Ohhhh.. right. My bad, ma'am.", apologized Alex sheepishly.

"You can call me Dr. Nassif.", she said, in manner of an acceptance.

"Ohhh, right, yeah. Wait a minute... You're the one from the datapad! It's great to finally meet you."

Leila stared wordlessly at Alex.

"What.. what is it, doctor?"

"I was at the Chicago facility WITH YOU. For the last TWO YEARS. I used to come to your weekly sports sessions to talk to the team every week."

"Yeah, about that, I never really got to play, so they kinda let me go wander around the academy."

Leila muttered something under her breath.

"Okay, be that as it may-"

She was interrupted by a soft rumbling, that quickly grew louder and more violent, yet not violent enough to drop a man to the floor, which was what happened to Alex.

"OH GOD! EARTHQUAKE! ABANDON SHIP! MEN AND CHILDREN FIRST!", screamed Alex in a high-pitched voice.

"...It wasn't an earthquake. Just... just remain calm, and go down to reorient yourself here. We'll take care of it."

"I have a right to know if I'm in danger.", said Alex resolutely. "I do have a right to know if I'm in danger, right? I really don't know what my rights a-", but he was cut off by the good doctor.

"Just go visit Billie Adams, she's nearby, the other apartment on the left side of the elevator. It should be in your map."

Alex stood, thinking over this.

"Is it the apartment that's smaller than mine?"

"Err.. Just try all the intercoms. I'm sure it'll allow you to come to a judgement about your other peers, as a bonus. If you're smart enough to make judg-"

"OH YAY, BONUS!", Alex chirped cheerfully.

"Okayy. right. Just leave, here's the code to your bedroom door."

"Kay. Bye."

Leila Nassif logged off without a word. God, she thought, what an idiot this man was.

Alex was left with some thoughts of his own, which managed to give him a slight headache. He opened up the doorway, and, assuming the door on his left was the bathroom, walked right in, at which point the dark room immediately lit up.

Woah, he thought to himself, this is hi-tech.

The next five minutes saw Alex entertain himself walking back and forth through the bathroom door, giggling to himself everytime the light went off. Eventually, after feeling what he thought was a slight tremor, he looked at the bathroom.

Toothpaste he'd never want to use, a shower he never could use, and a toilet he didn't need to use. This is great, he thought to himself.

He stepped out of the bathroom for one last time and took a look into his bedroom, and suddenly noticed a candybar on the workdesk next to the holocomm. Beads of sweat broke out on Alex's forehead, as he contemplated the pros and cons of indulging in temptation. He had memories of his childhood as the fat boy of the class, being taunted by his fellow students. He was no longer an obese child, but such memories often have severe impacts upon the future actions of their victims.

Alex's mouth was now watering, but he couldn't indulge himself. He tore his gaze from the chocolate, and proceeded to the kitchen, nonchalantly walking into several chairs and sending them flying into various parts of the room.

Alex opend up the fridge, and was rewarded with the sight of delicious, nutritious bread. He took the loaf of bread, and gobbled it down greedily, as if it were some Thai delicacy or of a similar league. With crumbs of bread adorning the corners of his mouth, he stepped outside his bedroom into the tastefully decorated corridor. To his right, Alex espied a vase which certainly looked valuable. No one would miss it, he reasoned, so he grabbed it and shoved it into a pocket on his chest, where it remained, an inconspicuous looking bulge. Alex began to whistle, clasped his hands and placed them behind him, and walked on as if no minor theft had just occurred. To his right, he noticed an alcove with a table and some vending machines, and decided to have a healthy soda to bite down on the earlier temptation for a candy bar. As soon as he entered the alcove, a janitor reading a book noticed him, and greeted him with much enthusiasm.

"Why, hello there! I didn't know about any new arrivals! What are you doing here?"

"Well, it's nice to meet you too, mister..."

"Francis. I'm the janitor up here, which is kind of unnecessary because of the cleaner bot down the hall, but hey, corporate bureaucracies, you know?", he responded, as if it were an inside joke between him and his unwilling partner.

"Uh, yeah.. corporate thingies... so, I'll just get my soda and I'll be out of here."

"Don't let me bother you!", replied the janitor, at which point he set his book down upon the table and stared unblinkingly at Alex.

Alex, unnerved by the janitor, proceeded to study the operating procedure of the vending machine. After three minutes, he had not managed to decipher the instructions, and was forced to ask for assistance.

"Mr. Francis-" "Yeah, man?" 'How do you operate this vending machine?"

"Well", replied a pleased-looking janitor, "It's a relatively simple process. First, you have to apply for a registered, paid account with Montybites. through the necessary channels, perhaps paying through your American Express card, though Mastercard's not discouraged, and then, when they mail you the necessary customer card-", Mr. Francis took a break, "You're not listening, are you?"

"The Express to the what now?"

"Oh, come on, it's really easy!"

"Dude, that sounds like bullshit, all of it. And," Alex examined the vending machine, "TWENTY FREAKING CREDITS? For a goddamn SODA? And there's only like, one brand of this crap."

The janitor shrugged, "Way of the future, man. Way of the future."

"Way of the future my ass, this is how we do things Tarsus style," at that, Alex punched the machine twice, followed by a swift roundhouse kick, upon which he hurt his leg. He grabbed it and began to howl in pain, but he had accomplished his job. A soda exit the vending machine, and landed upon his head, furthering the intensity of Alex's hysterics and profanity.

The janitor, too, was scared by this sudden display of violence, and yelped in surprise. This brought the attention of the local SSC guard, who ran over to see what the problem was. He didn't make it, for a huge explosion occurred, and a gout of flame arising from the ventilation system enveloped the poor soul, ensuring that he didn't manage to accomplish his duty.

Alex stopped moaning and looked up, wild-eyed, to see the janitor get up and run to the corpse of the guard. Alex got up too, and while the janitor ran off, Alex bent over the body to examine what exactly happened, oblivious to the obvious burn marks along the guard's side. Alex soon drew to a dead end, and decided just to move on, until he saw something lying by the guard that changed his life forever. It was in the shape of a fat T, with the vertical section half filled with a pulsating blue substance. This would be his new addiction, the very substance around which his life of the immediate future would revolve.

Secretly pocketing the partially depleted ammo clip, he ran on to follow the janitor.

"Mr. Francis, sir, what happened? Do you have any idea?"

"Mike and I... we've worked here for years. Usually nothing makes it past the turrets."

"'Usually'?", replied Alex suspiciously.

"Once a dog made it past the turrets when they were down for routine maintenance. Killed off half the staff."

"I se-WHAT?", was Alex's astounded response.

"Hey, don't look at me, I don't run Standard Security. Speaking of which, I'm sure they'll be sending someone along now. We'll be safe.", For one of the few times in his life, Alex was astounded by someone's stupidity, but decided to skip the contradiction apparent in that statement.

"By the way, did you know that you have a big bulge in your chest?", said the janitor hesitantly.

"Don't judge me!", yelled an hysterical Alex, who quickly removed the vase from his pocket and threw it at the janitor with full force, who screamed a challenge as the vase broke on his forehead.

After a few seconds, Alex regarded the janitor's blank face.

"Aren't you going to respond to tha...", asked Alex.

"WHAT?", responded the janitor.

"You know what? Never mind. I need to find someone."

"WHAT?"

Alex ran back to the corridor next to his room, because the recent encounter had just reminded him of something Dr. Nassif had told him to do.

He faced the intercomm next to the door across from his apartment, and activated it.

"Hi, this is Klara Sparks room you're trying to get into. Right now, I'm probably out trying to find a home for homeless kittens,

or maybe I'm already on my first assignment for Red Cross, but if not those or anything relevant, I'll be downstairs in the

medical area doing nothing in particular."

Score one, Alex thought, I'm right across from someone who sounds HOT. Next intercomm, he thought to himself.

He ran back to the janitor, who assumed Alex was there to comfort him, and was sorely disappointed when Alex completely ignored him.  
Alex activated this intercomm.

"Yeah?" asked a surly woman's voice.

"Sorry, just wanted to see if I could judge.. err, know who's living here." replied Alex.

"Alex? It's great to hear from you. Come on in, I'm opening the door."

The door slid open, and Alex walked in, taking in his surroundings. It seemed that Billie had settled in nicely, if the occult symbols painted on the walls and ceiling were any indication.

"So Billie, how's it been over here? Whatcha been doin'?" asked Alex in his most confident voice.

"Been trying to cut my wrists.", replied Billie.

"Always the kidder Billie, always the kidder. How's everything?" said Alex.

"Screwed up. I tried to get answers about Chicago out of Dr. Nassif, but she would only give me the elevator door code. I made sure to write it down on the wall somewhere."

"Yeah, I was coming to that. Nice decorating you've done... That looks like some really good fake blood there."

"Er, yes, fake blood. Just take down the elevator code."

"So, I guess you met the other trainees?"

"Vapid, unsophisticated cretins who don't know a good poem when they hear one. We'll get through here in a breeze."

"They sound like my kind of people."

"Riiiiight."

"Make a good impression on the local brass?"

"Yeah, Dr. Nassif wasn't pleased to see me rifling through her office files. All this data on test subjects. I can't imagine what that has to do with Tarsus."

"You were always great at making friends. Anyways, thanks for this elevator code, I have to go downstairs to meet the other guys."

"You'll be disappointed."

"Glad to see you again, Billie.", Alex said, with a cheerful edge to his voice.

Alex waltzed past the janitor, who was hurt at being ignored so brutally, and moved on up the corridor, where he walked into a cleaner bot. He bent down and began talking to the cleaner bot.

"R2? It's good to see you! Where's C3PO?"

"Activating Stored Voice-Log 1947," responded the bot, "Repetition: Don't call me R2, Shitface."

"Oookay, I'll just move on."

"You do that."

Alex was thrown off by this encounter, but he noticed another intercomm, so his trepidation evaporated at the sight of something to accomplish. He activated the intercomm.

"Hi, this is Leo Jankowski's room. You haven't heard of me? I'm the guy who's directly descended from God. And I'm STILL better than him, pleb. I'm probably down in the rec area walking on water, so get on down there post haste."

He sounds like a nice person, thought Alex with genuine interest.

Alex looked across from Leo's door and saw a news terminal. Usually, he found news to boring to listen to, but Pequods usually had some fun commercials. So Alex activated the terminal and listened at first to some boring gumbo about terrorist attacks on a familar sounding city, more gumbo about said city, and finally, ultimate bliss, a pequods ad. Satisfied, Alex proceeded to the elevator. He decided to take a few moments to chat with the guard standing by the elevator.

"So, I hear the Knicks are doing fine this season."

"Wh..What are you talking about?"

"Er, you know... football?", replied Alex, not with a little hesitation.

"Okay, look, I know you're freaked about the explosion and everything, but don't worry, SSC can handle this."

"Well, I did do special ops training for about 14 years, I guess I have about more training than you guys."

"Why don't you shut your mouth and get in the elevator, rookie?"

"Fine, asshole."

The guard gave Alex a look to kill, and upon consideration, Alex decided it was time to leave the floor. He got into the elevator, and immediately started humming to the catchy tunes, and so began the long ride down...


	3. The Rec Area

Dr. Nassif was standing by the window of her office, tapping her foot impatiently and checking her watch from time to time. She was waiting for Alex D.

After her recent talk with the newest student, she had no doubts as to the extent of his intelligence. What was even more surprising to her was the fact that he had actually managed to perform exceptionally by Tarsus standards. Truth to be told, all of Alex's professors had remarked that he had 'exceeded expectations', though in light of the student himself, the standardized value of his performance was not all that remarkable. But, Tarsus scaled students on relative performance, and this massive screwup in the system just had to be fielded till they could weed out the inconsistencies in the system. And so, Dr. Nassif occupied her mind with plans to eliminate the stagnancy of the Tarsus system, tapping away a tune she had heard in her youth on the floor, while the object of her distaste stood metres away, entranced by yet another tune.

Alex D was, in fact, standing in the elevator, cheerily humming along to the elevator music. The elevator had, unsurprisingly, landed on this floor almost immediately after Alex had stepped into it, as is wont of technology of the future, but Alex found himself mysteriously attracted to the tune being played by the speakers. The last six minutes had seen our hero occupying himself with making up words to sing along to the tune, but he had been unsuccessful in conjuring up something worth singing. He stood there, transfixed, humming along, letting his eyes wander the ceiling, looking for the source of this wondrous music.

A noise from outside the elevator caught his attention. He could hear a slight tapping, precisely to the tune of the elevator music, and he was overcome with delight to have discovered someone with a similar passion for such an unpublicized art. He crept along the corridor, his back to the left side, staring up at the massive, projected videos of DNA molecular structures and skull cross sections, humming louder as he proceeded along the corridor. A toothy grin had appeared on his face as he realized that the sound was coming from behind the window on the wall behind him. He had just passed the door.

Leila Nassif was tapping to a tune she couldn't remember, still considering possible methods of eliminating inefficiencies from the Tarsus system, when she heard someone humming to the tune she was tapping to. She quickly put this anomaly in the back of her mind to rest on pleasant thoughts of the Tarsus Machine, fully engineered for the new age of man, a streamlined locomotive purposed to the speedy education of children, into adults, eventually. Naturally, this lack of awareness may be attributed the blame for the enormous shock she received when Alex D, with a toothy grin on his face, pounced in front of window, spread eagle, humming the tune from the elevator.

Alex D, too, was suitably surprised at the presence of the good doctor, and muttered a hasty imprecation under his breath after wiping off the smile that dominated his face. Suffice to say that Dr. Nassif's reaction was hardly expected, and likewise unwelcome, as she leapt back in what suspiciously seemed like horror, colliding with the corner of a table, which subsequently caused her head to crash against the railing barring off a raised part of the lab.

"Oh, crap, doctor Nassif, my bad, I'm so sorry for...", apologized Alex hastily.

"Just... just get up, Alex. I've had enough surprises to last me quite some time, thank you very much." replied Dr. Nassif icily, "What took you so long to get down from the apartment level?"

Alex was caught. He didn't know how to respond. Suddenly, he remembered the astonishing incident up on the apartment level.

"Did you know that someone stole one of the vases up there? Shocking, I know."

"...What?", asked Dr. Nassif.

"Err.. well.. a man was killed! By an explosion from the vents!" replied Alex, beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

"Oh... well, it's nothing to worry about, nothing at all. You can simply ignore it, it's common practice around here." Dr. Nassif said a bit too quickly.

"Common practice? Well, that's a relief. I mean, it would be a shock if people died with no warning, but at least I get to know that it happens on a regular basis here.", responded Alex with not a trace of sarcasm.

".. Er, well, anyways-", Dr. Nassif was cut off from replying to that ludriciously stupid statement by a message from yet another idiot, Director Stan Carnegie.

"Dr...Nassif.", said Stan, in a low, seductive voice.

"Okay, cut the bullshit Stan, what's going on?", said Leila in a no-nonsense manner.

"Uh, well.. one of the guards has turned up dead.", replied Stan hesistantly.

"Dead? was it from... an explosion?", at the last word, Dr. Nassif threw a glance in Alex's direction, who looked on the conversation with wide-eyed innocence.

"No," replied Stan sorrowfully, "It was lung cancer. I've notified the relevant authorities, who may or may not tell the family, that's not my business. In the meantime, I'm pushing us up to Code Fuschia, and I'm ordering a standdown of all cigarette vendors on campus."

"Well, that's... that's bad to know, Stan, but at least we're not in any immediate danger." responded Leila, visible relieved.

"Damn right we are! Second hand smoke-" but Stan was cut off by a tremor more powerful than any of it's predecessors.

"Err, I have to go now, Leila, bye!", with that, Stan logged off his holocomm terminal.

Alex looked from the holocomm, to Dr. Nassif, to the holocomm again. And then back to Dr. Nassif.

"You know, I've always said that second hand smoke-"

"Okay, Alex, just go away, acquaint yourself with the other shi- I mean students- and whatever. I have to go now." Dr Nassif ran off to an exit at the back of her office, away from poor, confused Alex.

Well, Alex thought to himself, at least there was no risk of him dying from lung cancer. He walked on past the corridor of flashing lights, and found a vending machine on his left, this time advertising the delicious MontyBites candy bars that Alex had so recently resisted. His already sweaty forehead became yet again covered in perspiration as he and the machine engaged in a contest of will. Eventually, Alex could not stand up to the ferocious temptation of the machine, and viciously punched it, causing it to malfunction, and earning him severe pain in the knuckles of his left hand. MontyBites poured forth from the carapace of the machine, adding substantially to the pathetic whimpering coming from Alex as he clutched his hand.

"Um, hello? Is anyone there?" spoke a voice to his right that seemed suited to excesses of cheerfulness.

Oh no, thought Alex, a chick. Gotta stay cool. Immediately, his whimpering disappeared, and he leaned in what he assumed was a casual manner against the ruined wreck of the vending machine, smiling towards what he believed was the direction of the voice.

An attractive, blonde youth turned the corner. Dressed in all-black Nomex with patches of lighter material on her limbs, she looked the definition of femme fatale, a notion dispelled by simply talking to her. She was Klara Sparks.

"Um, why are you smiling down the stairs?", she asked tentatively.

"What..? Oh, crap, that's where you were." Alex repositioned his pose and his smile to face Klara, and spoke in his most confident voice. He intended to win her over immediately.

"How's it goin', babe?", he said in a deep voice.

"Umm, well, I just wanted to know, where was that whimpering coming from? I like to make people happy, so very happy, and I don't like whimpering, because whimpering is bad, bad!". Her speech was fast paced, ending in a un upward inflection of ferocity, and Alex felt slightly unhinged at talking to her.

"That was just... the janitor, yeah."

"Mr. Francis?"

"Precisely. So... you new around these parts?"

"I was transferred here two weeks ago! Klara Sparks is the name, and helping people is my game! See, it rhymes! I'm so happy!"

"That's great to know, babe. My name's Alex D... D for demigod. Or demagogue. Or something."

"It's great to meet you, Alex Something! Were you just transferred?"

"You could say that. I just came in from..." Alex thought about this to himself. Where had he transferred from...? Oh, of course. "Waco, Texas."

"Really? Because the apartment roster says we just got two new recruits from Chicago!"

"OH, right, yeah. I'm from Chicago. My mistake."

"God, you must be so sad! I mean, the whole city being wiped out and everything! How do you feel?"

"Well, to be honest, Chicago was...", Alex noticed the bright look on Klara's face, and decided to veer away from his intended exposition, "Chicago was great, yeah. Lots of stuff to do. Pequods, Mmm. Great place."

"It must be so horrible for you! Was your family from there?"

"My foster parents."

"That's just so bad!"

"Not really. My foster dad used to beat me. He used to come home every day pissed off. And my foster mom was an alcoholic. She used to rip out the power line for the ironing board and whip me with it."

"I... see."

"So, Klarissa-" "Klara" "Right, Kandy, where are you from?"

"Well, my family's from Lower Seattle, which is just a great dandy of a place! "

"Wait, if you were transferred here two weeks ago, which Tarsus did you go to before that? I thought Tarsus centers were only in enclaves."

"Oh, sure, you can remember me using one word, but not my name." Klara immediately regretted using that remark, and withdrew it quickly with, "Sorry! Sorry! My therapist tells me just to breathe in deeply and count to ten. I'm so happy!" She rounded off the conversation with another exclamation of her joy, at which point Alex excused himself to look into the adjoining room, which was actually a running track which looked down upon a basketball course. Alex noticed someone attired like him running around, and assumed that was the last candidate to meet. Something about the son of God popped into his mind and, just as quickly, disappeared.

Alex didn't need to initiate conversation with this student, who was running quite slowly.

"So, they let the Chicago transfers out of their cages. I'm Leo Jankowski, you might now me from my numerous, massively publicized adventures. They made a video game company just to make games FROM those adventures."

"Yeah," Alex replied, deadpan, "That operation to retrieve the cat from the tree was pure genius. I don't know anyone else who would have thought of using military hardware to shoot a cat out. Pure novelty."

"It was, wasn't it?" said Leo. "So, what did you come to me for? Do you want a blessing or something?"

"Just came to talk. Did you know about a guard getting killed? Said it was from lung cancer, but I could have sworn I saw an exp-"

"Probably just a drill. If there was any real trouble, they'd notify me immediately. Ever heard the name Leo Jankowski in Chicago? I'm the one with the perfect special ops rating."

"Right, the perfect zero. They told us that that was the first time someone ever got that perfect a nil on the special ops programs."

"Well... it was a higher-course exam."

"We're Tarsus grads. It doesn't get higher course than that. And they told us what the procedure was. You had to sneak behind a blind man listening to heavy metal on earphones. How do you fail something like that?"

"I... tried to take his wallet. Those blind men, they're really tough on the physical, you know." Leo replied, as a sort of face-saver.

"The man was naked. They did that to make sure you didn't try to pull off a pickpocket job."

"Okay, look Chicago-"

"Chicago?" replied Alex incredulously.

"Here in Seattle, we have a way of doing things. You don't question me, and I don't go out of my way to take your wallet-"

"Just try it."

"Okay, whatever. I'm pretty sure you didn't come to insult me. What are you here for?"

"That guard I was talking about? He's dead, I'm sure of it. Though I'm not particularily sure how..."

"Better look again. They did the same thing to me during summer recon. I got a perfect score because I kept my head."

"No, you did-"

But Alex's statement was interrupted by a massive explosion that knocked out the power to the rec area's lights.

Dr. Nassif's face immediately appeared in the upper left corner of Alex's vision, but due to his lack of awareness as to the presence of the infolink, he was suitably distressed as he flailed his limbs in that general direction, running around maniacally, much to the amusement of Jankowski.

"Alex! ALEX! This is an infolink. I am not a ghost.", said a visible surprised Leila Nassif in Alex's infolink.

"Oh. Thank god. Good to see you, doctor." replied Alex, breathing deeply.

"You're pretty underequipped, so I suggest you go downstairs, to the equipment locker. There's some, well, equipment there for you."

"Okay. I'll be sure to, ma'am."

"Leila out."

Alex quickly proceeded down the stairs he had smiled at earlier, noticing that both Leo and Klara had wondered into the elevator corridor and were simply milling about, and he quickly turned a corner to avoid sliding into the wall. He ran past a soda machine, which he regarded with a grimace, and into a basketball court. An explosion occurred at the far end by the basketball trolley, which sent them flying in all directions, much to the irritation of Alex, who was pelted by several balls which he was sure should not have shot in his general direction.

Catching one of these balls, Alex looked up at a hoop, and it seemed to him that time had slowed down. Yes, he thought, now he would atone for his horrendous performance at basketball. Yes, now he would become a star. In his current slow motion state, he jumped high into the air, shooting the ball towards the hoop. As he stared at the ball with an expression of astonishment, a voice from the side distracted him.

"Hey, you, basketball rookie, over here!" shouted a female voice.

"What the fu-" Alex thought in midair, but his surprise quickly turned to pain as the ball rebounded towards his suspended genitals, and he rocketed backward towards the center of the course, clutching his injured goods and moaning about the impossible nature of that happening twice.

"Okay, look, rookie.", Alex turned his head ever so slightly to look at the source of the voice. It was a female SSC guard, almost exactly similar to the male one he had met eariler save for the complexion of the skin and the voice.

"What... what is it, SSC girl?"

"Go get your equipment from the locker. I can't risk one of you getting shot out here."

"Yes ma'am." Alex croaked, still feeling the pain from his recent misfortune. He entered the locker room as the SSC guard took up position at the room's entrance, her Mako pistol withdrawn, and he attempted to navigate the confines of the room. It took him the better part of a minute, but he finally found the lockers. Two of four were unlocked. He opened his locker, or what he assumed was his locker on account of the relative cornucopia of equipment within, and took a pistol, a stun baton, and two ammo clips, the last of which caused him to squeal in joy. He also found a multitool, which he used to unlock the locker to his right, for it contained an ammo clip and a packet of soyfood. He had at last found a viable alternative to chocolate, and voraciously ate the contents of the packet. Once done, he opened the other unlocked locker to find a medkit, which he took, were he to need it. He didn't particularily understand how to apply it, owing to his lack of concentration during First Aid courses, but he was confident he could discover some way to use it.

Now Alex, sufficiently provided for, slowly approached the entrance of the locker room, where he found the SSC guard fidgeting with the safety of her gun.

"Where have you been? You know what, never mind, there's one of those religious terrorists outside in the basketball court. There's no reason for me to drag a rookie into a firefight."

Alex was suddenly faced with choices. Actually, he was faced with four succinct choices, which surprised him. If only conversation had been this easy, he thought to himself.

"There's no need for violence," said Alex, "I'll just sneak by undetected while you distract him."

"That sounds like a good idea," voiced the guard, "Alright... on 3. 1... 2... 3...", and at that, both Alex and the guard rushed out of the locker room, Alex dodging behind the pillar to his left, the guard firing in the direction of the other exit, combining expletive with projectile to make a veritable offensive that any religious zealot would find difficult going.

Alex slowly made progress, sneaking from cover to cover, avoiding the temptation to pick up a ball and throw it at the SSC guard, until he finally reached the second last column from the exit to the stairs and found the Order seeker hiding behind it, muttering prayers to himself. Alex was in luck, for the seeker had not noticed him. Quickly, Alex retrieved his medkit, and jumped on the seeker, hitting it with all the force he could muster. The seeker was not used to such a hail of fire and hurt, and having his morale thus shattered by this onslaught, immediately surrendered himself to his attacker. Alex, of course, was not satisfied, and continued to beat the seeker with the broad side of the medkit.

The SSC guard approached the two, one beating the other furiously with a medkit, the other prostrate upon the floor, weeping. Forever confounded by this event, the SSC guard managed to handcuff the seeker. She was about to instruct Alex on what in his inventory to use to hit, but she stopped short after looking in his eyes - there was a smoldering fire within, and she had no intention of arousing his ire.

For his part, Alex still felt the adrenaline come to him. He had tasted blood, although actually drawn none due to the conspiciously pacifist approach he had just used. He looked up at the SSC guard, acknowledged her action with a brief nod, and proceeded down the corridor and up the stairs post haste. He entered the elevator corridor to see Billie Adams rush into the office of Dr. Nassif. He quickly tried to enter the office, but Billie cut him off by locking the door.

"Billie, what are you-"

"No time to explain Alex. All I can tell you is that Tarsus is turning their back on you."

"Really? How?"

"They're using us as test subjects. That's what Dr. Nassif had in her files. We're not students, we're guinea pigs. Finding out I've been used like that, I don't have a problem breaking my oath to them."

"How do you know all this?"

"The Order contacted me in Chicago. They warned me of the scientific experiments being conducted by Tarsus on us."

"What does the Order have to do with all of this?"

"The Order believe in natural balance. They don't see how living this life, a life where your actions are secretly manipulated by a lab with a hidden agenda, can ever help one achieve naturally balance."

"Okay... didn't you say you couldn't explain any of this?"

"Are you going to spend all day pondering my words? Or are you going to get out of here?"

"It's kind of difficult to do that, what with you locking the only way out."

"Go up to your room. There's a big hole in the bathroom, which leads to the secret lab. You can get out from there."

"Okay, fine, thanks. By the way, Billie?"

"Yes, Alex?"

"It's really great to see you've found religion. It's a great change from all that murder and satanic gumbo."

"Uh huh. Did you know that you have a medkit in your hand?"

"Yes I do."

Billie, refusing to acknowledge that with words, simply rolled her eyes upwards and proceeded to run to the door Dr. Nassif had earlier used to leave the office. That left Alex all alone. He turned to his left, facing the elevator, a look of joy blossoming on his face at the thought of more time to spend listening to the music within. He slowly walked in, entered the same code he had recieved from Billie up in the apartments, and the elevator doors closed, taking him to the apartments, or so he suspected. He slowly settled in for the ride, and began to hum to the elevator tunes...


	4. Back To The Apartments

Alex D was crouched at the far end of the elevator, wary for any hint of trouble were the doors to open too suddenly. Unfortunately, our hero was, again, distracted by the soothing tones of elevator music, and so, was crouched in an elevator, his hands in pre-combat pose held ahead of him, with a wide grin on his face, occasionally bobbing his head to the music. He attempted to tap his feet in tune with the music, but in his current stance fell over.Cursing to himself, he stood up, and immediately fell into combat position. If anyone attacked him, he'd give them the slapfest of their lives.

Presently, Alex became aware of the Mako firearm strapped under his arm. He unholstered it, and attempted to twirl it around his finger cowboy style, but dropped it. Cursing again, he fell to the ground to retrieve his weapon, and as soon as it was in his hands, the elevator door opened.

"Yo.."

"Oh my God!", yelped Alex, shooting the man who had addressed him.

"Shit! Damnit, don't do that!", replied the man, who, Alex had just noticed was SSC.

"Woah, sorry bra. You.. you scared me for a moment. Thought it was one of them terrorists, you know."

"Sure, dickhead. Look, one of those Order freaks is up that corridor. I was thinking I would have to take him on myself, but then you showed up and shot me in the leg. Mind going on up ahead and taking him out? I mean, I'd do it myself, but they always taught us to let the backup handle everything back in basic training."

"Why not? You're SSC, you couldn't kill a rat with a disability."

"Bite me."

"Whatever. Just wait up a moment."

With that, Alex approached the corpse lying nearest to the elevator.

"Hello? Are you awake?", he ventured to the corpse. "No? Well, I'll just take anything you might have."

Alex lifted the body up for a moment, and grabbed an ammo clip and an electric prod. The latter had captured his interest - the ambient energy within the stun tube had aroused an almost childlike fascination in Alex. In enthusiastic interest, he jammed the tube right up to his eye to examine the prod more deeply. However, the added pressure on the tube caused the rod to discharge an electric current into Alex's eyelid, causing him to scream and fall back. He sat back up again, his left eye twitching madly, with facial nerves causing a variety of irrelevant expressions to manifest themselves on his face.

"Woah, dude... Stun prod, man. Don't you know how to use those things?"

"I do now. I'll go handle that terrorist, but let me do my shit first."

Alex felt somewhat weaker from this unexpected self-attack. He wanted to lie down, eat, do something to relieve this feeling. He went into the next apartment, Leo Jankowski's, as fate would have it. He noticed a kitchenette to his left and decided to rummage around for food. He opened up the fridge and found... a loaf of bread. He grabbed the loaf and immediately started scarfing the bread down. Once completed, he dusted off crumbles from his jumpsuit and proceeded to look around for anything of interest. He approached Leo's bed and found a footlocker nearby. Going through the contents of the locker, he found several items of interest, and a few of genuine use. After sifting through Leo's relatively modest collection of self-autographs, photoshopped pictures, and letters to himself, he found an EMP grenade. Alex decided to keep this for himself.

Alex had also noticed an open vent by Leo's bed. Not one to ignore a possible route, he jumped in and proceeded along the vent. He grabbed a multitool which had somehow ended up in there and pocketed it, and emerged into... Klara Spark's apartment.

"Score!", Alex said to himself.

He looked through her fridge and found an assortment of junk food, but he simply grabbed the candy bars and sodas. One of the advantages of being an augment was a body that didn't fail on you. After reflecting on this blessing, Alex approached Klara's bed, intent on finding anything of use. On the way, he managed to stubb his toe, stumble over a fallen over chair, and hit his head on a shelf, eliciting copious amounts of swearing. Outside, a voice went, "Who was that? Ah, must have been a rat."

Alex finally made his way to Klara's bed, and opened up her footlocker. He sifted through her belongings and came across a scrambler grenade and a multitool. He decided there would be no harm in checking her email.

Alex checked them, but all he came across was two messages from Leila Nassif regarding the new program. Uninterested in the subjects, he simple stood there, waiting for the messages to end. He was unaware as to why the Order seeker had not come in.

As fate would have it, the Order seeker himself was occupied. The unfortunate man was troubled by his conscience. He reasoned to himself that, okay, SSC are trained security, they should be able to handle themselves. But he couldn't grasp why they had gone down so easily, or why almost none of them had drawn a weapon on him. He expected some retaliation, but all that Standard Security could muster was a pathetic whimpering from around the corner.

Alex was leaning to the right, taking in the meanderings of the Order seeker, who maintained his patrol route quite flawlessly. He crept slowly towards the doorway, pistol in hand, and switched in his flashlight while pointing his weapon outwards into the corridor. This was not a good thing.

The Order seeker had just noticed the circle of light forming on the wall, and realized he wasn't entirely alone. He decided to surprise this new antagonist with a charging attack. At that, he ran post haste towards the light, and turned right into the path of the beam. This, too, was not a good thing.

Alex let off seven shots, frightened by this new presence, although he had been warned to it. The Order seeker fell back, violent jerks accompanying each shot, until he finally ended up against the back wall, sliding down into a sitting position.

"Dude! Are you okay? Sorry for... um, you're dead, aren't you?", Alex waited for a response. "Guess so."

He searched under the seeker for any ammo clips, and was annoyed to find none. The SSC guard came running over, at which point Alex turned and let off another shot, hitting the poor guard in the arm. The guard, used to such gestures from the people he worked with, ignored the sharp pain in his arm and came over to Alex.

"Well done, rookie! You got yourself your first kill! That's one more than everyone in the SSC!"

"Yeah, that's not really surprising."

"If there's anything I can get you."

"Ammo. now."

"I need this!"

"Not like you ever use it."

"Gah... fine, take it. It's just one clip."

"Unused, too."

"Fuck you."

Alex entered his own bedroom, intent on taking any items he may have left behind. Suddenly, a message light blinked on the left hand side of his vision. Infolink, he thought. He activated it.

"Now, watch, Alex," said Billie Adams, every word dripping with self-righteous anger, "as I cut the power to the apartment. Just look at the ceiling."

"I'm looking Billie, I don't see anyt-"

"In a few seconds."

The infolink cut off, and the ceiling powered down, much to his surprise. He saw two people in an observation window up above the ceiling rafters, and decided to get up there to listen. Climbing onto the kitchenette, he jumped up onto the rafters, but could not get close enough to hear fully what they were saying. He heard mention of someone not liking being spied on. He was uninterested.

It was then that he noticed a new item in the corner of the level made by the rafters. Precariously balancing himself in the center of the rafters, he made his way over to the corner, and was rewarded for his curiosity with a sort of modern-day crossbow which fired knockout darts.

Alex equipped this weapon and began to acrobatically proceed down the rafters, but unfortunately, these rafters were not much suited to the weight of anything heavier than a crossbow for extended periods. The rafters collapsed, and Alex went tumbled into his fridge.

"Crap!"

A voice from above, "Did you hear that?"

"God?", said Alex.

"Yes, doctor, I did. But if we don't move, I don't think they can see us."

Alex, getting up and dusting himself off, went into his bedroom to retrieve any of his items. He came across his NG Resonance doll, snapped in half.

That was when Alex lost his civility. His knees began to shake, and soon he collapsed to the ground. This was too much. He screamed in agony. Once over, he vowed to murder all who would commit such an atrocity. Slowly, with tears in his eyes, he stroked the hair of his former toy, and laid it down on his bed. Wiping away these tears, he grabbed his crossbow firmly. There was determination written on his face.

That was when he noticed his hairgel. It was intact. Joy! thought Alex. At least one thing was saved. Quickly, he applied some of the fast-acting product to his hair, making sure it was picture perfect. Once done, he went to his bathroom to watch away the gel from the gloves. In the bathroom, however, he noticed a new occurence. A big hole in the wall? No. Someone had run off with the toothpaste. He looked around the bathroom to find the toothpaste, but it was missing. That was when he came across the, you know it, big hole in the wall. He proceeded through it, and came into a sort of storage room, with a lower level that had a few crates. Slowly, he made his way to the top of the ladder, and he placed his hands on it to lower himself. The gel he had forgotten to wash off his hands now came into effect, essentially causing him to fall onto a crate, and then fall off to hit his head on the floor. Swearing again, he walked over to a wall, rubbing his ass, grumbling. He had seen a door up there earlier, but now it had gone. He figured he'd have to climb up, but how? That was when he noticed the crates again.

Seven minutes later, Alex could not convince the crates to assist him in his endeavor to climb the wall face. He decided that he would have to do it himself.

He jumped up, and managed to grab onto the upper edge of the wall. Slowly, he pulled himself up, grunting in the face of the exertion that he had never applied himself to. Finally, he managed to make it up, facing the door he had seen. Gleefully, he ran towards the door, and suddenly ran into it. Rubbing his face, he remembered that these doors are not automatic. He flicked the switch by the side, and went through...


	5. Biowhats?

_Been about... well, ages since I updated. I've been quite busy and all. I'm going into my thirteenth grade of high school, that's where the people who don't want to go to college quickly go. I started an internship where they make me work from the leisurely hours of 8 am to 6 pm, 6 days a week. I also had to come in on my only weekend day to finish up. Such is the life of the intern. Anyways, I now give you, the fifth installment of the Invisible War parody! Try not to scoff too much.  
_

_­­_

"This is captain Alex D's starlog 00015-12. I've been trapped in this hellish nightmare of a laboratory for the past seven hours. I feel sickened simply looking at this hall of horrors. Who knows what insidious, heinous crimes against humanity the people who run this laboratory carry out. And so, I have remained, stationary, for the past seven hours, not daring to venture forth into this abyss of insanity, this repository of the works of madmen made manifest… I know not how long I may survive…".

Alex sat hunched up against the door he had so 'recently' come through, or rather, the door he had last come through. He had one arm wrapped partially around his legs, with the other in front of his head, it's hand curled up into a balled up fist as Alex spoke into it.

"I can only dream of when someone can come to claim me from this terrible place… if only… hey, is this thing working?", Alex muttered an expletive to himself, and began to physically determine whether his recorder was working. From the perspective of a neutral observer, this process seemed very familiar to hitting one's head with one's fist, but of course, Alex was smarter than that.

At that very moment, Alex heard a chime, or rather, he felt it. In his head. He tentatively activated his infolink.

"Al… eeee… um…." Came the static filled voice from the other end.

"It's pronounced aluminum, jerkwad!", Alex retorted, visibly irritated.

"…at? An… eeer…eeee?", replied the the voice, which, Alex could faintly tell, seemed to belong to a woman.

"What? You're NEAR ME? OH GOD!", And at that, Alex D jumped to his feet, falling into a melee response form, and began to survey the cold, sterile environment of the lab, shaking with fear, and yet with determination as well to ward off this predator.

"et…fix…. Okay. Alex D, this is Leila Nassif. Can you hear me?", spoke Dr. Nassif over her infolink.

"Oh! Hi ma'am! It's good to hear from you! I've been really busy since you left! Leo down in the gym needed help benching, and Klara was signing me up for aid work, and even Billie asked me to help her decorate her-"

"Yes, of course. Look, I know you've been stuck here for the past seven hours. THERE IS NOTHING OF DANGER IN THE LAB. At least you let me catch up on my sleep. I live in the Emerald Suites you know. Great place."

"Nothing scary?", Alex sighed with relief, resuming a posture of normalcy, "wellguess I can get on leaving here." Alex immediately took a step forward confidently, and thusly ignorant of the steps in front of him, tripped on them and fell onto the cold, white floor of the main laboratory area.

"Goddamn it… This always happens. In some form." Alex spat a wad of blood out, soiling the undisturbed pristine floor of the laboratory. Trembling, he placed his palms on the floor and lifted himself slowly.

"You didn't need to go and spit on the floor and all. I mean, sure, no one's ever going to see this lab again, but…" Dr. Nassif immediately caught herself, "Er, okay. Well, you've taken the first steps… no pun intended… Go up to that cabinet. No, not THAT cabinet," She said annoyingly, after seeing Alex approach a locked cabinet with various empty laboratory containers.

"Alex looked up, imagining the disembodied voice to be there, shrugged, and went, "What? It's the only one I see."

Back in her apartment, Leila Nassif hit her head. _hard. _

"Whoever started this project made some very poor design decisions on D3…", she mumbled to herself, ignorant of the fact that Alex could hear her.

"Sorry, what was that, doctor?", asked Alex.

"Um, nothing. Now, look to your left. About 14 degrees to your left. There should be a cabinet there. And may I remind you that you can NOT open the drawers on the tables in here." This statement elicited an 'Aw, shucks' from Alex D, who shuffled dejectedly in the direction Dr. Nassif indicated, or, more accurately, in a completely different direction.

"Alex? Where are you going?" asked a confused Dr. Nassif.

"I was never… really good at that geometry thing..." mumbled Alex sheepishly.

"Oh God. Just go to that raised area near your left. The one with the cabinet with the shiny blue canisters in it."

"Can…?", began Alex, to be immediately shut up by Dr. Nassif. "The bottles. THE SHINY BLUE BOTTLES."

"That makes sense, I guess… Thanks Dr. Nassif!", and Alex trotted along, all dejectedness forgotten, traversing the distance between him and the cabinet, stopping momentarily at the steps leading up to the cabinet to scowl briefly at them. He finally reached the cabinet.

Dr. Nassif's image appeared on a holoprojecter to Alex's left.

"Alright Alex, time to get your biomods installed. These ARE the standard piezochem biomods, but your systems are far more efficient in all matters related to nanite energy stores. It's as simple as taking the canister, uncapping it, and sticking the syringe into whatever part of your body you want the nanites to go into. The transmitting mechanism that is installed on each nanite module will link directly to your infolink to provide you with a list of modifications that the nanites can be configured to assemble themselves into… You're not listening, are you?"

"uh… It's not that you're boring, doctor, it's just that…", Alex's brain immediately began to race for something to say. "It's just that you're boring." Alex congratulated himself on the face saver.

"Right, thank you. That cabinet there, contains the canisters. Behind you, there is a table. It has datapads that you can read, if you can read. They can give you a basic idea behind what kind of modifications you can have assembled, where they can be assembled, and which ones are not recommended. Granted, as I said, your systems are far more efficient, so don't be shy putting strange needles into your body when you find them."

"I'll be sure to do that, doc!", Alex replied, with a salute. Dr. Nassif scowled.

"I'll talk to you after you've installed your mods."

Alex, upon the disappearance of Dr. Nassif's form from the holovid projector, approached the desk behind him, looking inquisitively at the datapads. Picking the first one on the right up, he read up on the biomods that specific locations of the body could accommodate. He looked over the other two datapads to determine what he would like to install. At some point during his orientation exercise with the biomods, the cabinet doors unlocked themselves and swung open, hitting him in the back, which caused him to curse mildly, yet again.

Finally, Alex decided on which biomods he would install. He walked around the cabinet door to get a better look at the canisters before installing. He figured it would be useful to him.

Unfortunately, it wasn't. Alex cradled the modification in the crook of his arm, examining it with the hand of the other, trying to find where the open switch was. He finally managed to find it, and activated it, thus unhooking the capsule above on top of the canister, revealing the nanite syringe.

Here goes nothing, thought Alex, as he swung the canister upwards, straight for the bridge of his nose. The canister inserted itself into his forehead, and Alex simply stood there, waiting from the transmitter module to link to his infolink while a large, metallic capsule was jammed into his head.

Alex went over the infolink interface to choose the biomod. He had, in a rare moment of genius, decided upon the Regeneration modification, as he figured me may come into scrapes quite frequently in future, like falling over more steps. He felt a strange feeling behind his eyes and within, as if a viscous, vibrant liquid began to focus at a single point there and then spread out rapidly, almost explosively. His vision blackened for a second, and he fell to the floor, clutching the canister and breathing rapidly. And, just as soon the feeling came, it left, and Alex was on the floor, holding an empty canister to his head. He removed the canister and breathed deeply.

Alex was curious to try out his regeneration module. He retrieved his pistol from his bodysuit, and tentatively raised it to his mouth. Aiming it upwards, he was about to pull the trigger, until…

"NO! ALEX, DON'T! You can't USE the biomod if your brain can't activate the regeneration module!" Dr. Nassif was practically screaming.

"Huh? Awe, shucks. What's the point of a REGENERATION module if I can't use it when I die? Useless science, what's it ever done for me?", Alex removed the gun from his mouth, and scowling, he replaced it in his holster, but forget to turn the safety back on, and thus, he shot himself in his left rib cage.

"Ahhhh! Crap! Doc, what do I do! What do I do!", Alex screamed, grabbing his side as blood poured from the hole in his bodysuit.

"Relax! There should be an icon in your vision, to the right! Focus on it for a few seconds."

Alex listened to Dr. Nassif, and immediately, he felt a cooling sensation at the location of the gunshot wound. The nanites began the super-accelerated repair process, and activity proceeded on a furious scale in the wound. Nanites began to assemble around the bullet, which had reached deeply into Alex, and they slowly began to 'carry' the bullet outwards in the direction it entered. As this bullet passed each organ wound, each ruptured membrane, more nanites flowed from around the damaged areas to repair this damage. Quite soon, the bullet was forced out of the entry wound, which expanded slightly, albeit painfully, to provide easy passage for the bullet. The nanites immediately dissipated once the bullet had completely left the body, a bluish purple haze that disappeared. They quickly joined the repair process for the skin, facilitating the approach of platelets to the wound, acting as miniscule spiders to create a web of fibrin around the area, forming the crusty scab upon the wound, which quickly disappeared. The process was much like watching healing in fast forward.

The nanites went a step further, recreating the material of Alex's body suit to make it whole again.

"Wow, doc! That's pretty neat?" exclaimed Alex delightedly.

"'pretty neat'? Are you twelve? But, anyways. Yes, the nanites can also repair the clothing of the wearer. One of the programmers was quite the fan of sowing."

"Well, I'll get to the other mods then."

"Fine." Dr. Nassif's image disappeared from the holoprojecter.

Alex took one of the canisters from the cabinet and slowly inserted it into the right side of his chest, keeping it supported. The interface popped up again, and Alex selected the Aggressive Defensive biomod. The cool, liquid, vibrant feeling appeared again in his chest, focusing at the centre of his chest, and then spreading out.

"Ahhh, the aggressive defensive mod. An interesting modification, to be sure. It causes a default frequency to be emitted from your body at all times, a frequency that is recognized as a detonation signal by practically every kind of explosive. The range is suitable to let you get away unscathed."

"Thanks, doctor. I mean, that was exactly everything I had read in the interface menu, but thank you for giving it that personal touch that's so lacking in today's world. Much appreciated."

Dr. Nassif scowled at the sarcasm, but resumed her ordinary dignified posture quickly.

"Your third and last, Alex."

"Are you just going to stand there, doctor?", asked Alex.

"What.. What do you mean?", said Leila.

"Well, my third biomod… it's a pretty private thing. I'm not really big on that whole biomod fetish thing some of you people have…"

"Oh god, whatever. I'll turn around, will you like that?", replied an annoyed Dr. Nassif.

"Fine, that would be better." Dr. Nassif's figure turned around in the projection, and crossed it's arms. Alex took the third mod, activated the switch, and inserted it into his left leg. Alex chose the Silent Movement modification from the list, and felt that same feeling move in opposite directions, one down his leg, the other through his pelvis and into his right foot. He giggled as it passed his pelvis, to the derision of Dr. Nassif.

"Are you done, Alex?", asked Dr. Nassif.

"Completely, doctor. Now, I want to ask something." Dr. Nassif bit her lip. She was afraid Alex was going to ask. How long could she maintain this cover?

"What's the big deal with Klara? Does she like me, or does she 'like me' like me?", asked Alex, a frown appearing on his face.

"What?", replied a stunned Dr. Nassif.

"Eh.. well, I was just wondering whether she'd ever be inter-", asked Alex sheepishly, scratching his head.

"Okay, look, Alex, if you won't ask, I'll tell you, if just for the sake of appearances. The Tarsus facility? It was attacked. By terrorists, RELIGIOUS terrorists, so you know they must mean business."

"Um, what?", replied Alex, confused.

"Your confusion is natural. Let me just say that the multidenominational faith, The Order, is in conflict with several powerful entities. By which I mean multinational corporations, and their respective security divisions."

"Multi… what?"

Dr. Nassif sighed. "It's a mix of religions. Look, I don't know all the details. The Order is an intolerant cult… but I don't see why they would do it. But for the moment, I suggest you try and leave Tarsus. More when you're out."

"Right away, doc!"

"Idiot," muttered Dr. Nassif.

Alex walked around aimlessly, enjoying the lack of silence emanating from the new mods in his feet. Finally, he looked around quizzically. He didn't know where to go.

"Um…. Doc? Where… where do I go?"

"THROUGH THAT DOOR. The new one. My God, are you always this stupid?", asked a thoroughly irritated Dr. Nassif.

"Thanks doc!", said Alex, oblivious to her comment. He ran there, and came to a stop, wondering why the door wouldn't open. A look of familiarity came on his face, and he walked ahead – straight into the door.

"Damn," he muttered, rubbing his nose. Second time that happened. He looked around the frame of the door for a switch, and luckily found one of the fluorescent blue switches he had been seeing around quite recently. He found them alluring, for some reason.. He tabbed it, and the door opened. He proceeded into the next room, his legs bent so as to reduce his profile, warily looking around and shifting his firearm from hand to hand.

"Wait!", cried a voice from the left.

Alex yelped, and fired three rounds in the direction of the voice, only one of which found it's mark, though it elicita loud squeal of pain. He cursed himself for using his off hand for shooting, and switched, aiming towards the newly found scientist, a steely glint in his eyes.

"Why did you shoot me, you jackass? I'm on your side!",exclaimed the female scientist in a somewhat Arabesque voice. Her lower face was covered and her head was shaven. She was wearing, as is the case with most scientists, laboratory dress.

"Well, you're either with me... or against me.", responded Alex, cold determination tracing through his eyes.

"What? What did I just say?", said the flabbergasted scientist.

"I don't know, I was too busy looking at your bald spot. YOUR HEAD, I mean. It... it has a nice shiny... oh, crap."

At that statement, the scientist picked up a random object to her side that appeared out of nowhere, and threw it at Alex. Alex dodged this object by rolling to the side, hitting his head hard against the wall. He got up, rubbed his head, and picked up the offending item, and threw it back at the scientist. Immediately, she shouted an expletive, to Alex's consternation.

"Okay, that room you see over there beyond the door? It has a turret and separate camera that make up the security system-"

"Hi-tech!", exclaimed Alex.

"Yes, of course. Why they don't put cameras in turrets is beyond me. Also, there is a large stack of conveniently placed crates that can cover your passage through the room."

"What if the turret spots me?"

"The camera-"

"Whatever."

"Just throw an EMP grenade in it's direction. Turrets are usually immune to small arms fire, so don't even think of firing at it."

"What about you?"

"I can't take that risk. I'm a scientist - that should be enough explanation."

"Good point," said Alex solemnly, "The shiny surface of your hairless head would be a brilliant target for the turret."

"The scientist was about to begin a tirade, until Alex removed his boltcaster from his bodysuit and fired a round at the scientist's neck. The scientist began to run around agonizingly, swatting at the immense dart to remove it with all the precision of a rhino in heat, but finally succumbed to the intoxicating effect of the nerve agents. Alex, quite fascinated with this demonstration, put the device up to his own neck and fired point blank.

The dart, having no other recourse, hit the target - Alex D's neck. Alex immediately dropped his boltcaster and began to run/hop around maniacally, screaming at the top of his lungs and hitting the dart with all the strength he could muster. Suffice to say that the dart failed to be extricated. Alex was now running in the direction of a low, rectangular window on the side, and finally fell to the effect of the dart, collapsing onto the sill. However, his head hit the sill itself, causing him to be suddenly regain full awareness of his surroundings, including the dull pain resonating through his head.

"Goddamn... drugs... ooooh, is that a trophy?", Alex exclaimed, looking through the wire mesh window into a familiar looking room...

Alex's infolink buzzed. He linked it through. Dr. Nassif on the line.

"Look, Alex, Tarsus has a strict policy against voyeuristic behavior. You were only observed to make sure you didn't exhibit any irregularities from your flight from Chicago."

"Ma'am?", Alex asked, quizically.

"Er... You don't know that this is your room, right?" Dr. Nassif asked tentatively.

"Who's on the room what now?", said Alex, confused.

"Okay, right. Just.. go through that door and get shot. It'll make my life that much easier. Oh, by the way, thanks for waiting seven hours in there. I made breakfast, just buttered up some pastry I picked up on my way home, A croissant, and I might possibly indulge in an eclair in the afternoon. Thanks Alex!"

"I'm hungry now.."

"Bye!", said Leila cheerfully.

At the moment Alex's link was disconnected, his stomach growled. It had been some time since the feast of bread.

Now, thought Alex, it's _my _time to shine.

Slowly, Alex edged towards the closed door, moving steadily, on all fours. Upon reaching the door, he retrieved an EMP grenade from his jumpsuit and examined the device. Alex looked the device over to see if there was an activation switch, or a pin, or _something_ to indicate that the device was about to detonate, and finally found a big red sign on the bottom of the device labelled, 'activation button'. Alex briefly whistled to himself, and tabbed the door switch, thus revealing the security set up in the room beyond.

Alex edged towards his right, allowing himself to fully enter the doorway, and raised his arm in a motion to throw the grenade. At that moment, the camera panned over towards his general direction and spotted him. That was when Alex tossed the EMP grenade.

His arm raced through the air in a circular motion, hurtling the grenade, which... _bounced back? Oh, fu-_

Alex had little time to complete the self admonishment as the EMP grenade, thrown by his left arm which was hidden from the doorway, detonated right in front of him, causing Alex to spasm involuntarily and shiver violently. All the while, the camera looked on, as an innocent, confused child would.

Alex soon recovered from the shock of detonating an EMP grenade next to himself, and acted upon impulse - picking himself up, he dashed right through the security room, all the while, the camera watching him run swiftly, and, by some miracle, not alerting the security grid to an intruder's presence.

Alex finally reached the cover of a wall on the upper floor, away from the glass windows. Below him, he heard the same scientist exclaim loudly, 'He got through? That's incredible! Student, I'm coming through!'.

Alex peeked around the wall, observing the progress of the scientist. She walked into the field of view of the camera, upright and confident, and the camera immediately caught sight of her - this time, registering an intruder on the security grid. The alarms went off.

"Oh, shit." said Alex.

"Oh, shit." said two voices from around the corner.

"Oh, shi-", the scientist was about to say, until she was riddled with approximately 6 tonnes of hot lead from the security grid machine gun in the room, which continued to fire away at her inanimate, unrecognizable form. Alex closed his eyes, disgusted, at the terrible sight. He returned to his position of cowering behind the wall, and decided to move on.


End file.
